Monday, October 29, 2007

I just want to be thin

I want to be one of those people who have a thin body, and can eat what they want. Is that too much to ask? Yes, I thought as much. I suppose if I was like that, then I'd have to give up my winning personality or something.

I had a really weird "mental-day" today, and struggled a lot with food choices.

We camped this weekend, and was up 2 lbs. this morning. With Halloween (and three parties (2 for school, one with friends)) this week, I just sort of figured that this week was a bust, and I'd kind of have a "free" week. Not FREE like "eat whatever the hell you want," but "free" like...not counting points, and just taking what I get kind of week.

So I had to run an errand after school today, and called P to tell him. I mentioned that I was going to run through McD's on my way. He (very nicely...not judgmentally) said "Why don't you get something better for you than McD's? That has a lot of fat in it, that you probably don't want...."

He was totally right...but I got upset by the change in plans. (Isn't that stupid?) I wasn't even mad at him, but I realized that I was PLANNING to eat bad today just because the rest of the week is going to be "difficult." Today had nothing going on that would effect my eating, or was a social event like a party...yet I was OK with choosing to make bad decisions.

This is just hard, and it sucks. I hate all the mental hoops (to jump through) that exist. Sometimes I just want to eat junk because I know how. Eating healthy takes a lot of thought, and sometimes I just don't wanna!

Breakfast:
Peanut sweet/salty 4 pts.

Unplanned snack:
1 fig newton bar 1 pt?
1 little pkg. animal crackers (Stouffer) 2 pts?

Lunch:
9 triscuits 3 pts.
1 oz. cheese 3 pts.
Quakes 2 pts.
Popcorn (Have to look up) I'm gonna say 4...I had the whole bag

Dinner:
Hamburger helper 7 pts.
bread 2 pts.
butter 1 pt.
H'ween candy 3 pts.

Daily total 32 points I think.
Flex points used 8 pts.

Crap. I just ate like 10 Thin Mints. Add some more points to my total. I wonder if I'm PMSing?

1 comment:

The Mom said...

You and me both! I totally understand your whole way of thinking...as I do that too! I am really upset at myself for the way I have been eating lately...but not enough to kick my ass and get back in gear. Yesterday started out good...and then Logan had to go to the dr and get a shot and my mom was with us and told him she would take him to chick fil a afterwards. So..instead of eating something semi healthy there...I ate what I wanted and then had dessert! Then for dinner I made taco salad--with low fat everything..but didn't measure anything--just because I didn't wanna. Trick or Treat is tonight so I know I will be eating candy...and my birthday is saturday..and my mom is making my favorite cake. This time of year is very very very hard for me...and I know it won't get easier until after the holidays. I'm in a funk..I need to dig myself out! and I want to be thin and eat whatever the hell I want..when I want. Can I PLEASE have a speedy metabolism for christmas?!?!?